


Crazy is the Forecast All Week

by Beltenebra



Category: Johnny's Entertainment, KAT-TUN (Band), Kanjani8 (Band), NewS (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Stripper/Exotic Dancer, Bartenders, Fluff, Gen, Humor, M/M, Strippers & Strip Clubs, Yoko goes back to his hometown, Yoko's amazing Mom, Yoko's family
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-28
Updated: 2016-10-28
Packaged: 2018-08-27 14:10:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,214
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8404657
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beltenebra/pseuds/Beltenebra
Summary: Yoko takes a trip to his hometown and reflects on his life, the universe, and everything.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This is set in an existing series written by a friend called the Romeos 'verse in which the boys work at a strip club. This fic is entirely for her, with love. She gets so many points in my book for hearing me out when I said: Yoko and Ueda, trust me! You can read all of her fic set in that universe [here](http://community.livejournal.com/electrictoad/tag/au:%20romeos%20%27verse), and boy should you because it is _Amazing_.

All of the details were set. He had scheduled his time off months ago, five days neatly marked off in red on any calendar he could get his hands on, (including Shige's planner, which had earned him an eye roll from the younger man, 'and people say _I'm_ OCD'), Yoko Out of Town!!! 

He had gone over all of the necessary details with his part-time bartenders, confident that Shige and Junno would be able to keep up while he was gone… probably. He had done all of the ordering up through the week _after_ he was scheduled to be back, just in case. 

Everything was meticulously arranged; he just needed to finish packing. Which brought him to his current conundrum. He stood surveying the contents of his closet with a sense of panic that was growing stronger by the minute. He grabbed his phone and punched in the number without looking. 

"You're done packing already?" the voice was warm and wry and Yoko could just imagine the small smile that accompanied the question. 

"I have a problem." 

"Oh?" 

"I just realized that I have a plain white dress shirt but no suit jacket and that every vest I own is in some way shiny, sparkly, and in every way unsuitable to attend a high school graduation ceremony! How could I have possibly missed this? It's too late to buy something now. I have to leave ass early in the morning! I am going to horribly embarrass my brother and my family will never speak to me again and small children will throw rocks at me. What am I going to do?" 

A warm chuckle was not the reaction he was looking for, "Heh. Unsuitable." 

"Oh shut up. You have clearly been spending too much time with Junno." 

"Deep breaths, Kimi. I want you to check the back of the bathroom door." 

"Are you going to tell me to fashion some sort of formal wear out of my towel? Because I don't see that working out." 

"Just trust me." 

He huffed into the phone but swung the bathroom door open to reveal a garment bag hung on the hook instead of his towel. Further inspection revealed a beautiful dove-grey vest and matching suit coat, both delicately pinstriped with black. 

The soft voice continued, "You have nice, plain black slacks. They'll go together just fine." 

Yoko tilted his head to pin the phone to his shoulder as he tried the vest on -it fit perfectly. "Tat-chan, you are a lifesaver. I would kiss you if you were here right now." 

"That's why I'm not. You have enough to do. I figured you didn't need the distraction. But I'll be there to say goodbye before you leave." 

He grinned and let it show in his voice, "What would I do without you?"

"God knows, die alone and unloved in a ditch somewhere?" 

"You always say the sweetest things." 

"One of my many charms. Gotta go, _some_ of us aren't taking nearly an entire week off. I have work to do. 

Yoko glanced at the clock. It was just past ten; things would just be gearing up in the club. He could picture the scene perfectly: Junno was on bar tonight, he could see the tall blond swapping quips with Massu as he set up his equipment, the dancers would all be getting their costumes together for the first round of performances, the doors would be opening in less than an hour. 

"I know what you're thinking," Yoko was startled out of his reverie. "You have things to take care of at home; you don't have time to come in tonight. Things will be fine." 

He sighed, "Right. Oh! Just remind Junno not to try to teach Shige any of those fire tricks indoors. They'll burn the place down. And-"

"Kimi." The voice was stern. 

"Right, ok. Have a good night, knock 'em dead." 

The sunny smile was back, he could hear it. "That's my job! See you later." 

Yoko clicked his phone shut and turned back to his bags, feeling slightly less nervous than he had a few minutes ago. Although you could never completely rule out the dangers of children with rocks. 

~~~

As far as his family was concerned, he managed the bar at an up and coming nightclub. Which wasn't entirely a lie. It was a club, they were only open at night. 

It wasn't that he was ashamed of what he did. Not at all. He had started out at Romeos years and years ago a total amateur, fresh off the street with nothing to recommend him but his quick wit, sharp smile, and silver tongue. The boss must have been really hard up for a bartender because he pretty much gave Yoko the run of the bar and let him learn as he went. Luckily when he started, Romeos didn't attract many customers whose taste ran to anything more sophisticated than beer and shots. He remembered the panic of his first shift with fondness, recalling his eighteen-year-old self, not even old enough to drink the booze he was slinging, ducking down to frantically page through an ancient, ratty bartending guide for the definition of 'on the rocks'. 

He had come a long way since then. He had learned his alcohol, how to pour beer and mix cocktails. He studied their clientele, built up a good rapport with their regulars, did his best to keep first-timers coming back. He learned what sold and what didn’t and started to make suggestions about ways they could adjust the orders to maximize profit. He went out to hot spots and ordered ginger ale, sizing up their bartenders and drink menus. He experimented at home and, after several failed attempts that resulted in the death of at least one saucepan, he perfected the art of making simple syrup and then branched out into fancier twists. He suggested modifications to their menu and the boss ok'd everything, listening to the results of his research with a small smile. A few years later the boss was informing him that he was now officially managing all aspects of the bar. 

The bar and the club in general started to prosper, they gained a name for themselves and the boss wanted to start "giving the place a little more class". Everyone got new uniforms; Yoko had moaned piteously about no longer being able to slouch into work in a t-shirt and jeans but he had to admit that his tuxedo shirt and vest looked damn spiffy. They hired more staff and he personally got some fresh meat behind the bar. Shige was finally settled in enough to hold his own and Junno had been a damned gem plucked from his setting behind the splintery counter of a hole-in-the-wall dive where all of his natural charm and sleek good looks were going to waste. The taller man had taught Yoko a few tricks and now the two of them practically had their own floor show between dancers, flipping tumblers and bottles and setting shots on fire. 

He was proud of his skills, the place he had made for himself and his role in the growing success of the business. He just didn't think his mother really needed to know that most of his friends and co-workers took off their clothes for a living. The last few conversations they've had, he's spent more time than usual verbally dancing around the specifics of his life in Tokyo. He missed his mother and brothers like crazy, it had been too long since he had been home for a visit, but he boarded the train in the pre-dawn mist with no small amount of trepidation.

His mother is an incredibly astute woman, it would even more difficult to dissemble with her in person. This time around he could add his lover to the list of topics he would really rather avoid.

~~~

It was nearly two weeks before anyone but the boss knew what their new DJ looked like. He had been recruited by the boss himself and arrived earlier in the day than most of the staff, sequestering himself in the sound booth up in the balcony. Usually new employees were kind of tossed into the club and introduced around to whole staff all at once. It was a ritual of sorts, making sure the new people knew up front what their co-workers were like (pretty universally loud, ribald, and quite frankly crazy) so they could bail out immediately if they couldn't handle it. 

This time all they got was a memo informing them that someone named Ueda was now in charge of all music from the dancers' stage routines to the music played between performances and whatever played in the background for the hour between the doors opening and the beginning of the night's entertainment. Yoko and Ryo were pretty much the only ones there when the news hit. They shared a look and immediately sprinted up the back stairs to the sound booth. Ryo flung the door open to reveal a room lacking a new DJ, but full of stacks of complicated looking sound equipment. The shorter man poked around, making noises of informed appreciation while Yoko leaned up against the doorframe and pouted. He hated not knowing things before the rest of the staff. 

For the next few days, the only point of contact anyone had with Ueda was the low, captivatingly soft voice drifting through the speakers announcing the next performer. The dancers had several lively discussions about what the DJ might look like based on his voice alone. 

One of the first of many rumors that began to drift around the club about Ueda was that he ensured his hire by ending his interview with one of Romeo's more famous monologues. In English. Speculation among the staff ranged far and wide, pegging him as a tortured artist, hiding out of public eye after a failed pop career, or an uptight moralist who had to stoop to taking a job at a strip club in order to keep his sickly grandmother out of debtor's prison; there was an especially wild conjecture floating around that Ueda was a transsexual. 

Yoko blamed that particular rumor (and Jin as its originator) for planting the suggestion in his head and making his first encounter with Ueda so awkward. It was a normal Wednesday afternoon and he had been back in the storeroom doing inventory. He certainly wasn't expecting to see anyone else around. Most of the employees, by inclination or the nature of their work, were night owls and he was used to having the place to himself until dinner time at least. 

So when he turned the corner to see a slim figure in dark jeans, a drapey sweater and a knit cap pulled low over blond bangs leaning on his bar, he was both confused and flustered. "Um, excuse me, miss?" 

The person turned and glared at him as he took in dark eyes behind trendy glasses, an adorably pert nose, a lovely mouth and… crap, an undeniably male torso. He heaved a sigh, so much for good first impressions. 

"Hey, I'm Yokoyama the bartender. Everyone around here calls me Yoko or 'hey you'. Because the universe hates me, you must be Ueda-san." 

He swore Ueda's lips twitched. He didn't _quite_ smile but the frown softened and that was good enough for Yoko. The shorter man nodded and tugged at the ends of his sleeves a little before bowing. "I'm Ueda, good to be here." 

Yoko circled around and back behind the bar, feeling instantly more confident, as if the worn wood could help keep him from saying something stupid. He waved a hand at the barstools and Ueda took a seat, toying nervously with a napkin. 

He figured he would probably have to break the ice here. "So, am I the first person you've met here?" 

That got him a little hum of agreement. He pressed on with a crooked smile, "Well, I'm certainly sorry about that. That earns you a beer. Do you have any questions so far?" 

"Um, yes. I wanted to start meeting with the dancers soon so we can start customizing their music. What time do they usually get in?" His voice was even more lovely in person. It was low and masculine but almost musical, and Yoko was a little captivated by way it contrasted with Ueda's delicate features. The blond looked up and caught him staring; the resulting blush was completely charming and Yoko knew he was in trouble. 

He forced his mind back to the thread of the conversation. "It varies of course. Jin is perpetually late and Koyama often comes in early, with snacks if we're lucky. But for the most part, they start trickling in around eight." 

Ueda nodded thoughtfully and plucked one of the menus from a holder, perusing the selections. He wrinkled his nose up at the list of offered beers, "Your import beer selection is really kind of nonexistent, Yoko-san." 

"And just what is wrong with domestic beer?", he huffed good-naturedly. 

"Let's see… everything?" Ueda returned sardonically. "I could start with the total lack of depth in the flavor?" 

"Oh, come on! You have to at least drink Kirin, right?" 

Ueda raised an eyebrow and shook his head. 

"What kind of Japanese man are you?" Yoko countered, leaning on the bar, eyes sparkling in anticipation of a good argument. 

That earned him a low chuckle, "One with taste?"

They were still trading barbs and sly grins when Junno walked in an hour later. The taller man took in the scene with one of his brilliant smiles. "Hi! I'm Junno, nice to meet you! I see that Ohkura won the pool, you're totally pretty enough to be a dancer." 

Ueda just blinked, "Thanks?" 

"Yeah, sure! I can tell that you're already proficient at taunting Yoko so you'll probably fit in just fine around here." And with that, Junno bopped his way up to the employee locker room leaving Ueda staring after him. 

"Don't worry, we're not _all_ that high energy." 

Junno was right, though. Ueda fit in just fine. He was shy at first and tended to be quiet even after he settled in but he had a wonderfully dry, biting sense of humor and could hold his own among the more outgoing personalities on staff. It also helped that he was amazing at his job. 

His music tastes were eclectic, to say the least. He had brought what he called "good booty-shaking music" from all over the world. Everything from sophisticated British rock and shameless, brassy American songs to liquid French rap and energetic club music from French-speaking Africa. Hell, one of Ohkura's most popular routines right now was set against the backdrop of a sultry song with a throbbing beat that just oozed sex; if Ueda hadn't proved it to Yoko by showing him the original discography he never would have believed it was an obscure character single from an anime that was years old.

He was popular with the dancers because he was really interested in helping them customize their routines, he re-mixed songs for them, mashed up choruses and played them things they never would have heard otherwise. Yoko was fairly certain that Koyama wouldn't have stumbled on any Middle Eastern music if left to his own devices but no one could deny that his hips were _made_ for it. 

Ryo, who usually took months to get used to new people, sought him out almost immediately to talk shop. They spent hours talking about composing and music technology, slipping into a whole technical language that made Yoko's head spin. He tamped down the tiny trill of jealousy, reminding himself that it is never a good idea to date co-workers, (even if some of his made it seem easy), and despite the fact that most of the people who worked here had a healthy appreciation of male beauty, he didn't even know where Ueda's preferences lay. On the whole, it was a temptation probably best avoided. 

~~~

He had never been particularly good at avoiding temptation, Yoko mused, watching the scenery fly past the window of the train. Well, the kind of temptation that came in the form of pretty eyes and soft lips and a wicked sense of humor, anyway. 

Despite his brash nature, he had been a good kid. He hadn’t had very many chances to get into trouble as a teenager. His dad had left them when Miki was just a baby, taking his mother's smile and their source of steady income with him. Yoko had started working as soon as he could, his mother had had a job of course, but there were three of them to support and while Yoko had done his best with seven year old Ruka, he was pretty hopeless with Miki who was just a toddler. 

After a while it had been pretty clear to him that he wasn't going to make enough money to really support all of them in their peaceful little village. He’d had one opportunity, but he couldn't honestly say he had been excited by the prospect of spending his life making tatami mats, no matter how culturally important they were. 

His mother hadn’t been thrilled with the idea of her seventeen year old son moving to Tokyo on his own, but he hadn’t left her much of a choice. He’d used cold logic first. She was the most reasonable choice to take care of his brothers and he was eligible for a whole range of jobs that weren't available in their area. Then he had moved on to the more sentimental (but no less true) reasons. He wanted Ruka and Miki to have their mother around, to have a decent childhood like he had, and he didn't want her working ridiculously long days. 

She had given him her blessing on the conditions that he was to take care of himself and not neglect his own well-being in favor of the family's. He had mostly managed to stick to that promise. It had helped that he stumbled into the job at Romeo's soon after moving to Tokyo and that the boss had let him spend his first few years living in the storage room above the club. Between his more than full-time hours (he worked as often as the boss would let him get away with) and his mother's part time job, his brothers got to attend good schools and join sports teams, and enjoy all of those other facets of life that kids ought to experience. 

Yoko honestly loved his job so being a workaholic didn't bother him at all. He also loved his coworkers, sometimes to his personal detriment. The first time he got his heart broken it was a colleague of his who did the breaking. He never told his mother all of the relevant details but she had stopped asking if he was ever going to start a family of his own at least a year ago so he had a sneaking suspicion that she knew more than she was letting on. 

Ueda had been sort of an accident. He was just always around; he was intelligent, well-spoken, secretly hilarious, and kind of a weirdo which was always a plus in Yoko's book. His quiet humor balanced Yoko's sometimes manic energy and he never so much as blinked at Yoko charming a barful of clients night after night. At first Yoko took that as a sign that Ueda couldn't possibly be interested and tried to talk himself into being relieved. Much later, and after much pleading, cajoling and some low level blackmail, Ueda admitted that he hadn't been jealous because he knew from the first time they met that Yoko was his. Yoko sputtered back from incoherency that it really wasn't until the first time Ueda really smiled at him, sunshine bright and dazzling like the clouds clearing after a summer storm, but Ueda just patted his hand and told him he could believe whatever made him happy. 

Though the staff still had an open bet going on how long they would last (it was a tradition that applied to every relationship Yoko had had since about his second month of employment) most people had long ago lost interest because he and Ueda just kind of clicked. Yoko himself was continually surprised and delighted. And a little weirded out - he really wasn't used to having a peaceful love life. 

His mother had been right about him; when he found the right person it had been amazingly easy to be as loyal and devoted to them as he was to his family. He hoped that someday she would forgive him for the distinct lack of grandchildren. Maybe he could talk Ruka into having a few extra. 

~~~

Coming home was always an odd sensation… a churning mixture of 'this isn't my place anymore' and 'god, nothing has changed, I could just slip right back into who I used to be'. He stepped off the train and looked around at the familiar station; the only thing that had changed was the height of the lilac bushes growing down at the far end of the platform. 

The misty morning had given way to a drowsy spring afternoon. He could actually hear bees buzzing due to the distinct lack of city bustle. Not for the first time, he wondered how he had managed to stay sane in such a sleepy little town for so many years. Bills notwithstanding, his move to the city had probably been inevitable. The station was deserted; most people were at school or work this time of day. Normally, he might still be asleep, maybe just starting to contemplate stumbling his way to the coffee maker. He could actually do with a nap right now; he hadn’t been able to sleep much on the train. 

"Hello, dear!" His mother however, sounded quite alert. 

"Ooof!" He opened his mouth for a greeting was cut off by his mother's fierce hug. 

She squeezed him for a minute before pulling back enough to look over his face with a critical eye. "You're sure you eating properly? You look a little skinny." 

Which was absolute bull, given his boyfriend's penchant for carbo-loading. He had probably gained six kilos at least since he and Ueda moved in together. 

He just gave his mother a breezy grin, "I'm fine, Mom." 

That just got him slightly narrowed eyes and a small frown. "Well, regardless, it's lunch time. Let's go home and I'll fix you a proper meal." 

Two hours and five dishes later Yoko felt stuffed, full of home cooking and caught up on all of the local gossip. Thankfully, there was enough for his mother to talk about that she didn't ask him anything about his recent life developments. It seemed like he was off the hook for the moment. 

This respite ran straight through the next few days. He was so busy catching up with his brothers that he almost completely forgot the vague feelings of dread that had dogged the days leading up to this trip. He relaxed into the company of his family like easing into a warm bath. He went to see one of Miki's baseball games, he had long talks with Ruka about high school and what he wanted to do after high school. It seemed his brother was more than a little book smart and had several options for college. He didn't bother to hide how proud he was of his brothers; they bore his affection with only slightly embarrassed grins. 

The morning of Ruka's graduation ceremony was beautiful, bright and clear. Yoko reminded himself to thank Ueda again when he got back as his apparel apparently met his mother's critical gaze. 

"Either you've magically become a much sharper dresser since I last saw you or you're seeing someone. You look very nice, dear." 

Yoko raised an eyebrow and bluffed for all he was worth, "Gee thanks, Mom. You don't trust me to properly dress myself?" 

She just laughed at him, clearly not buying it, "Sweetie, the last time I talked to you about fashion you were telling me how much you loved working at a bar because it meant you didn't have to wear 'Real job clothes' I believe is how you put it." 

"Yes, well… maybe I'm growing up." 

She echoed his dubious look but let it slide. 

The graduation ceremony went quickly which wasn't surprising given the size of the school. Yoko, his mother, and Miki sat on the sun-splashed lawn and watched Ruka accept his certificate along with a handful of academic awards. 

He had never thought he had missed out on much by not finishing school but seeing his brother sitting there with his classmates, looking dignified and happy made him feel pangs of loss for the high school career he never had. If nothing else, this trip reminded him that his choice had been the right one; his brothers would probably get much more out of their educations than he would have. 

Afterwards, Miki had run off to meet with some of his friends and his mother was chattering with a tight knot of other proud mothers, leaving him and Ruka to cool their heels. A steady stream of classmates came by to offer Ruka congratulations and wish him well. Yoko looked on with amazement, impressed by how his little brother had grown into a confident young man when he wasn't looking. Maybe he should have come home more often. 

Then Ruka turned to him with a peculiar gleam in his eye, "So… how is work going?" 

Yoko was caught a little off-guard, and his mind whirred to life trying to figure out why now, after he had been home for four days, his brother had decided to get nosy. "It's fine. Same as usual, better actually. Business has been good." 

Ruka's sudden grin was a little maniacal, it was an expression Yoko knew well, having seen it in the mirror many times. "Funny thing, aniki… I've been checking out websites of places in your area of town and I just haven't been able to find anything that sounds like your club. When am I going to get to visit this _amazing_ place that you run?" 

Crap. Damage control time. "Well, it's probably too amazing for you, brat. And I don't run the whole place. Just the bar, which I might add, you are still too young to patronize." 

Yoko thought he had played it perfectly but his brother wasn't the least clever and resourceful kid he knew by a long shot. 

Ruka turned to him, expression serious, "Aniki, tell me straight up. Honestly, did you fund my high school education by working at a strip club?" 

Part of his mind pointed out, completely unhelpfully, the humor in his brother's choice of words, straight up indeed… the rest of him cringed inwardly. Yoko closed his eyes against the judgment he knew was coming. He couldn't lie now, not when Ruka was right here, asking such a pointed question. He felt his cheeks grow hot and his shoulders slump, at least he had a nice couple of days with his family before they never wanted to speak to him again. 

When he did speak, the resignation in his voice was clear. "Kind of. Yes." Then his brain kicked in and he realized the implications of such an admission without qualifiers. His eyes flew open and he added hastily, "But I really do run the bar. I don't dance. I mean, I can't really dance at all, you know me. And it's not a seedy club, it's actually quite nice!" 

He probably would have continued to babble but he heard a familiar chuckle and realized that Ruka was laughing at him. He met his brother's eyes and they weren't accusatory or disgusted or any of the things he had been so afraid of. They held warmth and respect and something else…

Ruka reached out and pulled him in for a hug, a rare display of affection. "Thank you, aniki. Thanks for working so hard and taking care of us." 

Yoko held on a few moments longer, blinking his eyes back against the sudden tears invoked by the gratitude clear in Ruka's voice. Something he hadn’t known he had been so anxious about, he could feel his chest loosen, like letting out a breath he had been holding for years. 

His brother pushed back just enough so he could look back at Yoko with a grin. "You know, I just got my final confirmation letter from Meiji. I'll be starting in a few months, full scholarship. I just need a small part-time job, nothing major." Before he could let out a whoop of joy, Ruka continued with a wicked gleam in his eye that Yoko was sure he inherited from his no-good older brother, "Do you think I could work at your place? I could bus tables!" 

He growled and shoved playfully at his brother. "Oh yeah, that's a hell of a way to start a respectable college career. A part-time job at a strip-club." 

"I'd be very popular with my male classmates at least and I have it on good authority that it's a very nice place!" Ruka informed him merrily. 

Yoko wisely kept the fact that the club would probably only appeal to a very small selection of his male classmates to himself and vowed never to let any pertinent information about the nature of Romeos slip ever again. He ruffled Ruka's hair roughly just to make him squirm, "Nice try, kiddo. Never going to happen. Why don't we find you a nice, normal coffee shop job." 

~~~

Dinner that night was a rowdy affair, Yoko felt completely at ease and his mother didn't so much as hint at any questions about a potential significant other. He assumed he was off the hook on that issue. She let him have his comfortable illusions until the last possible moment. He was on the train platform, bags packed and ready to go, when his mother pulled him in for one last hug. 

"Do take care of yourself, son. And whoever he is, I'm sure he's a wonderful boy. You should bring him with you next time. Don't wait so long before your next visit, alright, dear?" 

He gaped at his mother, utterly at a loss for how to respond. She just twinkled at him and reminded him that he ought to board the train before it left without him. 

About three towns away his mind finally caught up with what had just happened. He shook his head in disbelief but he couldn't seem to wipe the grin off his face. His mother had always been an amazingly observant woman, he really shouldn't have assumed he could fool her. 

Once again, he watched the countryside roll past the glass but this time his mind was a clear blue sky, calm and untroubled. He felt rested, eager to throw himself back into work, ready to earn himself another vacation and another trip home. He amused himself by imagining the look on Ueda's face when Yoko informed him that next time, he would be coming along.


End file.
